There's nothing wilder than a wild child. Almost everyone knows about this one around the block, and in school. Children like them are the most loved, as well as the most deviant. It's like playing with wild cards, you never know what you're going to get on a daily basis, let alone an hourly basis. Their hearts are crazy, they hug the biggest and they feel the most uncontrollable emotions sometimes. It's unfortunate that many people consider wild kids to be "bad" kids, when that couldn't be further from the truth. In time, you'll see.
As for me, I have a wild one. He is my greatest blessing, my greatest joy, and the one who keeps me on my toes no matter what. Are there days that are more challenging than others, days that make me want to scream into the air or pull my hair out? Yes, a thousand times yes, but I wouldn't trade those days for anything in this world because he is my wild one.
These are the kids that are usually cast aside, considered no longer good, viewed as unmanageable, but I urge you to reconsider this notion. Be willing to look beyond their weaknesses, their outbursts, their very high highs, and their very low lows, no matter how hard it may be. As soon as you do this, you will see these wonderful kids for who they really are at their core. You'll see that smile that has the power to make you smile even in the most difficult of times, and you'll hear that laughter that automatically makes you laugh from the inside out. They'll be full of sparkle, wonder, curiosity, and eagerness to learn about everything around them. It only takes a little time to look deeper.
There may be a wild one in your life, one who doesn't listen when patience is hard to come by. The one who does most things on their own without asking for help. Unmanageable at times, who make strangers roll their eyes. In spite of the fact that we have these wild ones, most people fail to realize that they are just tiny humans trying to figure out this big world, they feel everything deeply, they'll stand up for what is right while leading with a big heart, they'll challenge our thinking in ways we can't imagine, but we have to remember that they chose us as their guide in a world that sometimes feels cold to them. Even though things are hard right now, I promise you that they will change the way we live, how we think, and how we feel in the future. It is the way we see the world not only through our own eyes, but also through theirs. You'll see, if you give them a chance, there's so much good to come and so much to give. Changing the stigma associated with them is possible.
It would be a privilege to know a wild one, let alone raise one. Instead of rolling your eyes at them, put yourself in their shoes when you see them passing by feeling their high emotions. In this world, there are so many things that are thrown into their faces and into their little evolving minds that we cannot always protect them from. Remember, they are just tiny humans trying to make it.
It's a blessing to have a wild one, and I'm one of the lucky ones. The storm was beautiful, and I hadn't expected it. It is my hope that we can all change our perception of these wild ones and see their beauty.
Be kind. Always, even when its hard. It could change your world or change the world of someone else.
Often when we talk about social media, we hear the phrase, "Highlight Reel.". This is where anyone and everyone can share their best moments without seeing the other side. Social media allows us to compare ourselves to others, what they wear, what kind of house they live in, how their children behave, how their marriage is, etc.There is no thought given to the mirror effect, the fact that we can only see one side of the mirror. Would anyone want to share their worst moments voluntarily? The number is small. As a result, comparison is becoming an increasingly common negative feeling, especially among the younger generation.
In the past few months, I've also found myself engrossed in the lives of people I don't know. What a wonderful life and everything surrounding it they must have. Being unaware of the reality of any of these people's lives. It may be that wonderful and perfect, but since we all struggle with something in our lives, I wouldn't believe it. When does what we have become enough to make us happy? To stop comparing ourselves and our lives to others. Does this now just come with the territory of life?
Comparing my children with other children is something I find myself doing quite frequently. From a behavior perspective, I look to see how kids are acting and behaving, and I often find they are, as I would imagine being posted on the internet, in a positive and productive way. My struggle as a mom is finding the feeling of being empowered with the mom I am right now, and I find myself wishing I could change some of the things I have done or not done. In spite of the fact that no child or parent is perfect, I still find myself comparing myself to other moms and my children to other children. I know I'm only seeing what they want me to see, I'm not seeing the tantrums, the meltdowns, the fights, the battles, the tears and struggles that are all part of parenting. Perhaps if I saw those things, I would not compare, but relate, transforming the negative connotation of comparing into something positive and enlightening, perhaps even empowering.
It is inevitable that someone will be bigger, faster, stronger, or smarter than you. It should not be our children's goal or ours as parents to "be the best", but to "be OUR best". My social media accounts could be filled with everything awesome that happens in my life, and more specifically, with my kids, without showing the insane gauntlet of raising children. It would seem that I have my shit together and that we're all one big happy family all the time. However, what would that do to the situation? Considering the big picture, what would that accomplish. When people look at my life, they shouldn't see nothing but cookies and rainbows, smiles and laughter. I do have a lot of that in my life (mostly smiles and laughter), but that's not all there is, and to be honest, it doesn't even make up half my week...and that's okay. Normalize not only the good, the best of us, but also the relatable messes that life brings. You can unknowingly uplift another mom who is doubting herself and everything she is doing. Like me, perhaps.
We could do a lot of good for so many people if we could reverse the meaning of a "Highlight Reel" into something positive, realistic and relatable. While I'm not suggesting posting our worst moments to the world or talking about deeply personal traumas, I think if we just showed more realistic life antics, much less comparing would happen and more good would be achieved.
Updated: Feb 25, 2023
While it seems absurd to use the word "war" as a reference to the schools our children attend, it is the truth. My child wakes up every morning, gets ready and gets on the big yellow bus that takes him to elementary school, a place where he should be safe while learning and growing. Sadly, that is no longer the case. Soon my daughter will get on that bus too, and I am feeling things and thoughts that a parent should never feel when sending off their children to school. When I send my children off to school, I shouldn't worry if this is the last time I will see them, if this is the last kiss, the last hug, the last "I love you". I shouldn't worry that they will get shot once they leave for school. The big yellow bus doesn't feel the same anymore, it feels like I am sending my children into a war without a shred of protection. Despite all this, we as a nation have allowed it to happen. In America, we've subconsciously accepted fear as just the way things are now, and that is the problem.
Everyone's concerns and minds should be focused on the safety of our kids. We should put their interests ahead of our own in many situations. We often hear the talk about how no one should mess with our children and that we should always protect our children, but what have we done to accomplish that? Why is the war continuing? In the end, the question of “when is enough enough?” shouldn't exist because the first school shooting already exceeded the acceptable level. Nevertheless, it occurred again and again. The death toll from this problem in America has been countless, with no sign of relief in sight. When a shooting occurs, people get angry and news outlets capitalize on the publicity of the horrific event and we hear plans of how to prevent it from happening again, however, once the dust settles, the protests become almost whispers and then it becomes something we sincerely hope never happens again, until it does.
As a parent, I don't have the answers to fix this monumental problem in our country, but like so many others, I know we need to see change, and it needs to happen now. It is vital that our children are protected at school, not just when crossing the street, riding their bikes, or riding amusement park rides. We must hold them to the same, if not higher, standards of our high-ranking adults. We protect our president with guns, congressmen and women, police, judges, and even inmates, yet our schools are just wide open and littered with signs that say, "Gun Free Zones". This is not okay, this doesn't work. For a long time, it hasn't worked, but something keeps us from being able to protect our babies from harm the way we should. Gun control plays a vital role in this. There is no disagreement that this is an atrocity that must stop, but when it comes to gun control, we are divided. Many believe that taking guns away will solve the problem, however many also think that taking away guns will alter our right to bear arms, but what about our children? Our children deserve a safe place to attend school without fear for their safety, don't they? Doesn't a child have a right to go to school and come home to his or her family? Are we as parents not entitled to know that our kids are safe and that we will see them again in just a few hours when they get on that bus? At some point, do the rights of our children and parents take precedence over our right to bear arms? I personally do not believe that taking away guns would change the situation we are facing. The truth is many, if not most, of these people are acquiring the guns legally. However, they are homicidally killing children with these legally obtained weapons, so chances are if they couldn't get a legal gun, they would find another way to commit the illegal act, which is murder. Such individuals lack any moral fiber.
Putting control over what is out there and freely available is a start. It's hard for me to understand why anyone else would need an automatic rifle apart from the military. The type of gun described should not be on a shelf at a gun store, waiting to be purchased by your average civilian. While background checks are useful for many things, when mental health is not taken seriously, these checks almost become worthless. Mental health is falling through the cracks, leaving gaps for innocent people and children to lose their lives because suffering individuals aren't being treated, they aren't being seen, and their suffering isn't being taken seriously...until it's too late. In order to have gun control be successful and useful, we need to address the mental health crisis that is afflicting America today. To me, they go hand in hand. Without acknowledging and changing how we see and treat mental health; gun control will not be effective. Ultimately, the idea behind it will fail.
I understand the controversy this topic bares. It’s so strong, that even writing this is more difficult simply because there is so much background noise to the matter. I ask you this though, when you see tiny little caskets, beaming smiling faces of innocent young lives just disappear in a senseless act, how does anything else matter? How is there so much controversy to this when it comes to our children, our future? If there are potential solutions, even if it's not guaranteed to work, how are they not done yet? How are we still going back and forth, fighting about this right and that right. No one has a right to walk into a store and buy two automatic rifles, hundreds of magazine clips, and ammunition at the age of 18 nonetheless, and just walk out and it deemed as a “good day in sales”. Not a single person should have that right, no matter how you spin it. If taking away the literal ability to get automatic rifles would even just slightly make it harder for these horrific tragedies to occur, then what the hell are we doing still selling them? Why are they still readily available at our fingertips? Since when was a problem fixed with one solution, over night? Never. But if there are steps to take, if there are options out there, then they should be taken and acted on immediately and the rest will follow. This isn’t something to table and wait on, talk about repeatedly going back and forth and then tabling it again because there is too much controversy, and no one can agree etc. Protect our children at all costs, literally, even if that cost is going to make people angry.
Of course, there are other smaller steps that should have been taken a long time ago that doesn’t involve gun control. Metal detectors are everywhere in this country, courthouses, jails, political buildings, airports etc. so why on earth is it so hard to place them in our children’s schools? Money? If money is the answer, that’s just an excuse. We all know that. If all these other places and people can have metal detectors, then our schools should too. Afterall, these unprotected schools are what holds our future congressmen and women, our future presidents of the United States of America, future judges and police officers, firefighters, doctors, nurses, military men and women, mothers, and fathers. They quite literally hold our future and they’re just being slaughtered left and right. Single point of entry should be at every single school, bullet proof glass on the windows, locked doors, armed security inside and outside. All these things have nothing to do with changing our gun laws or altering our rights, but they could all play a key role in saving our children, our future.
Many will argue they don’t want their kids to go to school in a prison. I don’t understand this way of thinking in today’s climate. Things aren’t the same as they were back in the day. I would much rather send my kids to a heavily protected school and have it “seem like a prison” than have to bury them six feet under. Our children already go to school scared; they already must participate in active shooter drills, a lot of them are aware of the dangers lurking just beyond the school walls. I don’t think putting measures in place that are for their protection and safety would alter their already hindered educational career and experiences. At the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter how “you” feel regarding what your child’s school looks and feels like as long as they are protected. With the staggering number of innocent young lives lost to senseless acts like these, I don’t think our kids would care if their school “felt like a prison ", at least they would have felt protected and not defenseless and we as parents would have better peace of mind.
The time is now to stand with our children and teachers, for they’re our future. Change needs to be made, lives need to be saved, differences aside, before it's too late.