The Highlight Reel

Often when we talk about social media, we hear the phrase, "Highlight Reel.". This is where anyone and everyone can share their best moments without seeing the other side. Social media allows us to compare ourselves to others, what they wear, what kind of house they live in, how their children behave, how their marriage is, etc.There is no thought given to the mirror effect, the fact that we can only see one side of the mirror. Would anyone want to share their worst moments voluntarily? The number is small. As a result, comparison is becoming an increasingly common negative feeling, especially among the younger generation.

In the past few months, I've also found myself engrossed in the lives of people I don't know. What a wonderful life and everything surrounding it they must have. Being unaware of the reality of any of these people's lives. It may be that wonderful and perfect, but since we all struggle with something in our lives, I wouldn't believe it. When does what we have become enough to make us happy? To stop comparing ourselves and our lives to others. Does this now just come with the territory of life?

Comparing my children with other children is something I find myself doing quite frequently. From a behavior perspective, I look to see how kids are acting and behaving, and I often find they are, as I would imagine being posted on the internet, in a positive and productive way. My struggle as a mom is finding the feeling of being empowered with the mom I am right now, and I find myself wishing I could change some of the things I have done or not done. In spite of the fact that no child or parent is perfect, I still find myself comparing myself to other moms and my children to other children. I know I'm only seeing what they want me to see, I'm not seeing the tantrums, the meltdowns, the fights, the battles, the tears and struggles that are all part of parenting. Perhaps if I saw those things, I would not compare, but relate, transforming the negative connotation of comparing into something positive and enlightening, perhaps even empowering.

It is inevitable that someone will be bigger, faster, stronger, or smarter than you. It should not be our children's goal or ours as parents to "be the best", but to "be OUR best". My social media accounts could be filled with everything awesome that happens in my life, and more specifically, with my kids, without showing the insane gauntlet of raising children. It would seem that I have my shit together and that we're all one big happy family all the time. However, what would that do to the situation? Considering the big picture, what would that accomplish. When people look at my life, they shouldn't see nothing but cookies and rainbows, smiles and laughter. I do have a lot of that in my life (mostly smiles and laughter), but that's not all there is, and to be honest, it doesn't even make up half my week...and that's okay. Normalize not only the good, the best of us, but also the relatable messes that life brings. You can unknowingly uplift another mom who is doubting herself and everything she is doing. Like me, perhaps.

We could do a lot of good for so many people if we could reverse the meaning of a "Highlight Reel" into something positive, realistic and relatable. While I'm not suggesting posting our worst moments to the world or talking about deeply personal traumas, I think if we just showed more realistic life antics, much less comparing would happen and more good would be achieved.