Becoming a mother is one of the most exciting times in a lot of women’s lives. Some dream of being a mother from a small age, watching their own mother raising them and possibly their siblings. It’s something some admire, aspire to be. However, some don’t have that dream, they don’t necessarily lack the love of becoming one, but it isn’t something that they grew up knowing that they wanted. I am one of those women, I didn’t have plans set or made to become a mother growing up. I didn’t have any plans or ideas, goals or aspirations pertaining to motherhood at all honestly. Not because I had a poor upbringing or that I lacked love being given to me, I had a lot of love, it just wasn’t something I ever thought about. Of course, as I got older the idea would cross my mind more, girls that I went to school with were starting to have babies while still in high school, which at the time, blew my mind. I just couldn’t imagine, however the school I went too did a really good job at taking care of those students, in the sense they made it almost unknown…except of course its high school and everyone talks. Still, I watched those girls raise babies while still babies themselves, I couldn’t imagine but I did respect them for following through.
Eventually life moved forward, and I met my now husband, whom I share two beautiful children with. They’re 4 and 6 and absolutely the light of my world, my morning, noon and night. Everything I do is for them or because of them. I became a mother who was completely consumed with just that, being a mother. I lost all other motivators in my life outside of being a mom. Things for myself were far and few between. Hobbies and other interests that were exclusive to me were nonexistent. I would eat, sleep and breathe for my kids. I don’t think that’s a bad thing in the grand scheme of things, however I do think and feel that it is somewhat toxic for one person to take on. There is so much pressure from the outside world and inside of me to do it all and do it all right and perfectly. I desperately wanted to check all the boxes. I would often take my kids to the park and let them run free and play, and while I watched them play, I would find myself staring and watching other moms. What they were doing with their kids, how they were talking to their kids, what they brought with them to the park…did I bring those things? It was a never-ending cycle of comparing myself to every other mom around me, whether it be in person or online. It was almost like I couldn’t compare to anyone, even strangers. I strived to be better in almost every way, but all that did was dim my light, dull my shine and make me feel less than in a lot of ways.
Being a mother is something that is particular to each individual woman. We all want the same for our kids, happy, healthy and thriving but how we get there shouldn’t be identical. Parenting styles, differing styles are what shapes our world into diverse generations to come. Molding young mothers into thinking there is one way for everything is toxic, its belittling and not healthy for the mother or the children involved. We as mothers should feel free to express and parent as we see fit, per child because no matter how many children you have, no matter how many similarities they have, they are different. They’re their own human being, with different feelings and emotions, different wants and needs, likes and dislikes. Too often I got stuck trying to shapeshift my kids into something I was reading online or seeing from other mothers. However, I know myself all too well that what you see in a short span of time, whether it’s at a park or a grocery store is not the full picture of what it’s like behind the scenes. That right there is where I would spiral. I would see other kids acting a certain way, good or bad and I would immediately compare and analyze the difference in those kids to that of my own. This was exhausting, it was ever consuming and frankly it was unrealistic. Because of those things, I quickly became lost. I had nothing going for myself outside of being a mom to my kids and a wife to my husband. As my kids started to grow up a little, I started to see that I was lacking basic human motivation and happiness outside of my role as a mother and a wife. I no longer had any goals or desires; I couldn’t see beyond what I was doing already. That was my life, entirely. Should our kids be our life? I don’t think so. I think they’re a huge part of our lives, I know they make a huge part of who I am and have given me joy and growth I could have never gotten otherwise, but it’s not all that I am. I was someone before I had kids, I should still be someone after.
School age came, it was time for both my kids to go off to school for a few hours during the day. I no longer had tiny little feet running around every second of everyday always asking and needing things of me. Inside I was screaming with angst to just be with myself and to have time to be me, but the mother in me was sad and sometimes depressed at the idea of them not being around as much. That’s when I started thinking I needed to get out and find a job right away, I needed to do more, make more, become more. My reasoning for it though is what is wrong. I wasn’t thinking these things because I truly wanted too or doing what I was doing because I truly wanted too, I was doing it because I thought and believed I had too. My youngest started pre-K and I almost immediately found a job within the school system, my sons’ school to be exact. I saw him every day, short time frames, nonetheless, I saw him and was with him every day while he was in school. I thought it was perfect because I would have off when he had off and it appeared on paper to be the “perfect job”. What I didn’t realize until I was knee deep in the trenches of it all, was I was just adding to my already overflowing at times, plate. I wasn’t taking anything away, nothing was changing with my role and responsibilities and duties as a mother, I still was doing everything I did before and more. However, I really believed that I had to just go find something, anything really, do with the time I had while they were in school. I wasn’t happy though. I wasn’t fulfilled, I didn’t feel accomplished or any more successful in life. I felt the opposite. I felt exhaustion, frustration, resentment towards myself, my kids and my husband. Not by their doing, but by my own for putting myself in that situation of feeling like what I was doing before wasn’t good enough anymore, that I needed to add more.
Just because your kids go to school doesn’t mean you have to run out and fill the time that they’re in school. If you were already home with them prior, why is it so pressured and pushed that a mom “go find something to do”? I have plenty to do. Nothing has changed besides my hours. I still do everything I was doing and more. If I do feel the need to find something to fill the time, it should be something that makes me happy, something that I enjoy, something that doesn’t stress me out further just for the sake of saying “I did it”. Being a mom is enough. Its more than enough, and for some moms who do 99% of the work on their own, its beyond enough. So, you have a chunk of time now during the day when your kids are in school that you didn’t have before, that doesn’t mean you have to run out and jump directly into something just because. I’ve raised both my kids for years partially on my own, I’ve done it all. I deserve the time to find out what I want, what makes me happy aside from being their mom. I deserve to rediscover who I am as a woman, as a person.
After my dad passed away a lot of things looked and felt different to me. My life as I knew it before was no longer the same, no matter how hard I tried. I needed to find a new path, something else other than the same, repetitive stuff I have been doing for the past six and half years. I realized quickly that I didn’t know who I really was as a person anymore, as Brittany. For as long as I can remember I have been “Grayson and Adaline’s mom” and “Jimmy’s wife”. I’m not saying that I dislike these identities by any means, they are in fact the core of me, however I am still my own person, with my own identity. I’m not just a mom and a wife, I am Brittany, someone who has their own beliefs, opinions, loves, passions, likes and dislikes. I may have lost those things along the way, and they have changed I’m sure, but I owe it to myself and my family to find these things again. To rediscover who I am, aside from a mother and wife, because truly at the end of the day when these long days turn into too quick years, my children will leave and begin their own lives, without me. The thought of being left with no idea as to who I am or feeling of some independence from being ‘mom’, is extremely daunting and to be truthful, sad.
Growing up my mother was a stay-at-home mom for most of my life, all my younger years. She did work a little as I got older but was still very much present in my life. To her, my brother and I were her entire world, and in some way we still are. Aside from my dad of course, but the bond and relationship with your children a lot of time surpasses that of your other relationships, including with your spouse. My mom was everything and more growing up, she did all the bells and whistles the best she could, even when she couldn’t necessarily afford it, she made it happen. She gave every part of herself to us, without hesitation. Once we got older, my brother took off and joined the military. This was hard on her, however she still had one at home, me. We did a lot of things together even when I was older, but as life is I started to want to be with my friends more and be out doing things. I started spending less and less time at home, and my mom started showing signs of withdrawal from having her kids in her home like we’ve been our whole lives. At the time, I didn’t realize these signs. I didn’t know anything about “empty nest syndrome” or anything like it. As a teenager I just felt like she was smothering me, trying to control me and keep me home for no reason, little did I know the reason was more than I could have imagined, then. Without me there, she was left with a sense of emptiness, a sense of helplessness and lack of interest in anything other than being with me or having me close by. Looking back now, as a mother of two small kids, I now know what it was she was feeling. Abandoned, left behind. As a teenager, was I doing this intentionally? Absolutely not, I didn’t know any different. It was normal for us to grow and start to expand outside of our home life and family. But to her, it was the end of her life…as she knew it. When I was seventeen something happened that forever changed my life and my way of thinking about motherhood. My mom couldn’t imagine her life without her kids, right there with her. We didn’t literally leave her forever; we just weren’t there like when we were little. However, to her, that was unbearable.
I’ll never forget the night I wanted to go out with friends, it was a Saturday. My mom asked me to stay home and watch a movie with her, but I just wanted to go out with my friends. That night my mom thought her life wasn’t worth living anymore. Fortunately, she is okay and still with me today. But it was that night I realized just how much of herself lied within me and I knew that it wasn’t healthy, that this couldn’t be a way to live, there had to be more to life after becoming a mother. As I said before, I never really thought I wanted kids growing up, but I remember promising myself that if I ever did have children, I would make sure I didn’t lose who I was in the process. Now I’m 33 years old with two small kids and I just started feeling like I was leading myself down that same path, a path to where my children were my entire reason for living and nothing outside of being a mother was of any interest, or at least I didn’t have any. So, I quit my part time job I took once my youngest entered pre k. I knew it wasn’t making me happy, I knew I was doing it because I felt like I had to do it, like I had to not be home at all if both my kids were in school, even though I was still responsible for the same things, if not more, just different hours of the day. I was still doing everything as a mother should for my kids, that didn’t just stop because they went to school for a few hours. At that moment I knew it was okay to let go of that guilt we as mothers feel, often put on by ourselves but also society. It was okay for me to not go right into doing something I didn’t love, if I didn’t have too, if it didn’t make sense.
After my dad passed away, I started journaling again, writing down all my thoughts, everything that I was feeling or wanted to say to him. Things I wish I could tell him. I quickly remembered how much I loved writing before I had kids. It was always something I enjoyed, on its own. It was never a job or anything that I made money from, but it was something I loved doing, something that made me happy and looked forward too. So here I am, beginning to write again, starting to allow myself to do what makes me happy within the time my children are in school. Do I make money? No. Did I take a small loss by quitting my part time job at my sons’ elementary school to explore this? No. Because I’m happy, and because I feel excited about something that isn’t related to being to a mother and I chose myself for the first time in a very long time. We should all choose ourselves in life, even if it’s in small ways, we should always choose ourselves. That doesn’t mean I’m saying to hell with being a mom or that I care less or love less, if anything this choice will strengthen me as an individual which will in turn make me a better mom and wife to the people that mean the most to me. I wish my mother had done this for herself when my brother and I were younger, I feel sadness for her that she didn’t but I’m thankful that I was able to learn from my past childhood experiences that enabled me to make choices and decisions to deter myself from that very same path.
I don’t have it all figured out and to be honest I don’t know that I ever will. I’m not sure anyone ever has it all figured out, despite what they may put off and I think that’s normal. Life changes at the drop of a hat and we as humans change our minds, our likes and dislikes more often than we think. So, for one to have it all figured out, would imply they are fully content and done growing within themselves and their lives. I know that I am not done, I know there are so many more chapters to come with being a mother and a wife, but I’m so incredibly excited for the chapters to come for myself, as just me, however that may look. A lot of things are uncertain right now, but this I am certain of, I’m finding my balance, I’m not losing myself to motherhood. I’m redefining myself. I may not be exactly who I used to be, and that’s okay. I’ve grown and hope to become a better version of myself. I won’t give up on the idea of happiness beyond motherhood. My kids deserve a genuinely happy and healthy mommy, physically, mentally and emotionally. My husband deserves a happy wife whom he can be proud of, but most of all, I deserve to feel every ounce of happiness and fulfillment I can garnish. I, like every other mom out there, deserves to feel alive again.
I hope we all find our happiness in life, through our families as well as through ourselves.
Updated: Mar 20, 2022
Boundaries is something that is required in almost everything in life, relationships all of kinds (romantic, work, education, family etc.) However, it is the one thing that is almost always crossed in some way shape or form. Boundaries is also something that is hard for a lot of people to talk about, it makes them feel awkward or judged because what they may want or need might seem “ridiculous” to the other party involved, and this is exactly why they are crossed so easily.
For me, boundaries have been something I've wanted and felt strongly about but never really spoke up about, especially when it came to family. No one wants to ruffle feathers within a family dynamic, at least I don’t. So, I’ve always tried to keep the peace even if that meant allowing others to cross my own personal boundaries for myself and my kids. Most of my boundaries I would say are surrounding my children. I am a firm believer that the parents should be the sole factor in any parenting that goes on, no one else should think or feel they have the right to dictate the things you choose to do with your own family, especially my kids. I understand that within families everyone wants to share their point of views or opinions and all that, I understand that family and friends often times want to offer advice because perhaps they have gone through it before and feel they have more experience. However, how I choose to parent my kids or parent alongside my husband is just that…my choice. I want to wade through the rough times and create my own experiences, try things that I feel is right for me and my family. I can fully respect a lending hand but when that lending hand becomes an iron fist of dictatorship and constant judging, that’s when things become messy, and boundaries get crossed.
Parenting isn’t linear. There isn’t a precise way of doing it and it changes depending on so many factors and families. Everyone has their own way of thinking, believing and wants for how they would like to parent and raise their family. Unless there is harm happening or damage being done, there isn’t really a right or wrong way of doing it. Every single person within a family is different, so how you choose to parent one child might differ from how you parent another child. Everyone has different needs and abilities, different likes and dislikes. Umbrella parenting is for the basic needs like eating, bathing and sleeping. However, other stuff like discipline and extracurricular activities, screen time etc. are all ever changing per child and parenting household. What I may choose to do with my own family will often differ from many other parents out there, but it will also be similar to some as well. I, like most parents, want what’s best for my kids and my family unit, I want them to be happy and healthy and I want them to thrive at the things they do. Does it have to adhere to what others, including outside family members, believe to be right? No. It does not, not even in the slightest bit. Everything that I do is what I believe is right for my family in that moment, it may change as its needed, but for that moment in time the choices and decisions I make are what I feel is necessary and fitting for my family, mostly my children.
For me boundaries are crossed when someone tries to make me feel like what I’m doing or how I’m feeling is wrong or not right in some way. It’s when roles are misunderstood, and respect is not given. I am 33 years old; I have two small children ages 4 and 6 and I’ve been married to my husband for 9 years. I think I have earned the right to parent and establish the grounds for my family as I see fit. Giving advice is something that often becomes a boundary crosser, because if that person giving said advice doesn’t see you take it and utilize it and agree with it, then it’s a problem, they’re upset and instantly I’m wrong for going against it or simply not taking it. That’s not okay, it creates unnecessary friction and distance. It creates walls to be placed because I feel like I need to protect what’s mine. And that’s another misunderstanding within families, the word “mine”. For some reason it's hard for some to wrap their minds around and see it for what it is. My kids are mine and my husbands, that is it. No one else can say that they’re “theirs”, because at the end of the day they’re simply not. I think grandparents struggle with this concept the most, perhaps because the word “parent” is in their given title. However, they’re not the actual parent to my children. They don’t get to choose what happens and what doesn’t happen within their lives. They don’t get to judge me for how I choose to parent them or how I choose to do things. That’s not their right and it's something that happens so much within so many different families. The way I see it is grandparents had the chance to parent their children, our spouses. They got to do things the way they wanted too, and they got to believe in things regarding their kids when they were raising them. It's not their time to do it again when it's not asked of or needed. I think I’m most protective of my children when it comes to this.
I have boundaries for being a mother and a wife. They’re not out of this world crazy, they’re not even complicated, but they deserve every ounce of respect. Don’t get me wrong, I love advice and I love learning new ways to do things or ways of thinking, when it fits, but if it doesn’t fit or I don’t agree, that’s when the respect needs to come into play so that boundaries aren’t crossed. Eventually when so many are crossed or compromised, when so much respect has been depleted, it’s my normal body response to start bridging a space and creating distance. Unfortunately, when that starts to happen, it's not looked at in the right way. The disrespecting person or persons doesn’t look at themselves as the issue, even if you say that they are directly to them. I would guess that once you get to a point that you need to distance yourself from someone for these things, the idea of boundaries isn’t even a real concept to them. I would really take a shot and say they don’t even believe in them or at the very least, they feel ‘boundaries’ don’t apply to them.
Boundaries are set in place to maintain healthy relationships and lifestyles. They’re not this big bad thing that has to be ill willed or negative. Everyone has their limits; everyone has certain things that they would like to keep separate. The more people start to recognize boundaries for what they are and stop assuming they’re this massive personal attack, the less they will be crossed, and the less distancing will have to become a thing. Respect is key, it goes all ways no matter how old or experienced. Each person is entitled to their way of life, their way of parenting, however that may look. It's not up for debate, the sooner these concepts sink in, the sooner life becomes easier and smoother for everyone involved. In the end respect is everything when it comes to boundaries. Respect others as you would want yours respected and nothing less.
There’s a lot that goes into being a stay-at-home mom, many different factors play a role into this lifestyle. There are also different types of stay-at-home moms, ones that work from home so that that can stay home with their kids and then those whose fulltime job is being just that, a stay-at-home mom. Neither option is more superior than the other, neither option is more important or respectable, at least they shouldn’t be, however they often, are. I have personally done both the working mom and the stay-at-home mom life. There were aspects of both that were both positive and negative, for me anyways. Working, I enjoyed being able to get out of the house and see other people that were above 3 feet, I could relate too beyond what snack was being asked for at that very minute. On the other end, I was missing time with my kids, I was stressed out because I had to find care for my kids when I had to be at work, when they had off from school or were sick and couldn’t go into school. I was tired and had much less patience for them when the day would come to an end. I would often find myself spending the breaks I did have stressing about who was going to help watch the kids on my weekend to work, it became consuming and took the joy I once felt doing the work I did, away. Eventually once my second child was born, I left my job for medical reasons concerning my baby as well as myself and needing to be there for her. This was a massive transition for me, as I had always worked and been able to work whatever hours I had wanted prior to kids. I never grew up wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, it wasn’t my goal nor my intention. Rather, it became my reality.
Transitioning into staying at home was an adjustment, it was overwhelming at times because I was on my own. I didn’t have any family or friends close by to help if needed or just to visit and keep me company, to talk to. My husband’s job took him away more times than not, so I truly was on my own in many ways. At first, I struggled tremendously, I had resentment towards other people, including my husband who got to be around other people, come and go as he wanted and never had to worry about who was going to watch the kids if he had to be somewhere, because I was there. Always there. There’s this stigma given to a lot of stay-at-home moms, that they’re lazy, don’t do that much, don’t pull their weight or have it easy when that couldn’t be the furthest thing from the truth. Being a fulltime stay at home mom means you are the main source of running everything in the household as well as the kids and everything that comes with that. You’re doing all the laundry, meals, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, the cleaning that never seems to end, you’re doing baths and bedtimes, packing lunches, packing bookbags, getting up before anyone else in the morning and often going to bed last. Every need is laid on your shoulders, and that’s just part of being a stay-at-home mom. Sure, were not bringing in money, but were running an entire family and household all on our own. Some spouses help, pitch in, and others don’t because they don’t want too, feel they shouldn’t have too or they’re simply not home to do so.
Some would say staying home is a privilege, it’s a luxury. Therefore, it isn’t viewed as it should be, a vital running component to a family unit. Yes, there are some families that cannot afford to have one parent stay at home, both parents are required to work, usually for financial purposes. I do understand the difference and I can relate to how a person in that situation would view staying home as a luxury, but it doesn’t make it a fact, it doesn’t take away how much hard work is put into this role. Sometimes stay at home moms must stay home because in the long run It makes more sense for them to be home and not at a job, for many reasons. For me personally, with my husband's job, it made more sense and works better for our family because me being home allows my husband to be able to fully focus on his job, his dreams and goals without having to worry about whose going to pick up a sick child from school or whose going to take time off when there is a school break, or snow days, who isn’t going to stay home when school closes due to weather. It's important to understand every family dynamic is different, every family’s needs are different, though they may look the same from the outside looking in, they’re not. Its easy for someone who isn’t in the position of being a stay-at-home mom to throw stones at one that is, they don’t understand why and sometimes even when explained, it isn’t good enough to them. That leaves the mom that is staying at home for the sake of her family feel not valued, unappreciated and not deemed important. Our needs both physical and emotional often go unnoticed or unwarranted. We deserve the same amount of respect and value that any other working person would receive, we deserve to be noticed for all the work we do and all the weight that is put on our shoulders daily.
So, there’s the question, is being a stay-at-home mom “good enough”, is it worth it? For many moms it is worth it, even though it can be exhausting and overwhelming and often lonely. We get to see our kids grow and learn; we get to spend the time with our kids that is fleeting with every second that passes by. But why do we still feel this immense sense of guilt? Why do we often feel like we’re not bringing enough to the table, or that we shouldn’t ask for much because were given the opportunity to stay home and that alone should be good enough. It’s a very real vicious cycle of feeling good enough and not good enough at the same time. One minute you’re being told you are valued and appreciated, sometimes you’re told things like “I could never do what you do every day” but then hard conversations fall, and words get thrown out like “You’re home all day” or “You don’t do anything all day” or the implication that you just sit around is made. How unbelievably cruel and emotionally damaging these words or implications can be to a person who quite literally does everything, except bring home a paycheck.
For me, if you have the choice to stay at home with your children and take care of every day household tasks and chores, then you should never be made to feel less than after that choice is made. You should be supported and uplifted, appreciated and acknowledged. Not taken for granted, not pushed on the back burner. The words “You don’t do anything all day” should never be spoken to you, ever. When your kids grow and go into school, that doesn’t mean you’re doing any less than you were before they went into school for a few hours, it doesn’t mean you now have hours to just sit around and do nothing while you wait for their arrival back home. No, you’re in fact doing everything you did before, except now you can get some of these things done without being asked for a snack 100 times in between, or to get this or do that. Your job responsibilities never change, even if your kids are in school. Your hours have just simply changed a little bit. Taking on anything more is just that, adding. You’re simply adding to the already high volume of tasks you had to begin with.
Being a stay-at-home mom now in my life, I can say that I feel more guilt than I believe I should, then I believe any stay-at-home parent should feel. I feel less and less valued as my kids grow up, I feel more weight on my shoulders when that shouldn’t be the case at all. For me, you’re either going to support me staying home with the kids and taking care of the everyday household chores and tasks, or you’re not and with that, staying home should no longer be an option. You can’t support someone’s lifestyle one day and then switch it up and make them feel small for what you once supported in the beginning. You’re either in and completely supportive and appreciative, or you’re not. There shouldn’t be a middle ground. The whole idea that being a stay-at-home mom is a privilege is very discouraging and degrading to the parent who has all that responsibility on their shoulders. If someone were to imply that a working parent isn’t pulling their weight within the roles of parenting and marriage or partnership, or that they could be doing more etc., it would be looked down upon. It truly, in my opinion wouldn’t even happen. Too many times I see and hear others tear down the parents that are at home with their kids but praising the parent that is out in the world working, bringing home a paycheck. You’ll often hear things like, “they’ve had a long day”, “they’re tired and need to relax” or things like “The stress they’re under is probably very overwhelming and they need a break” but you would never hear that about a stay-at-home parent, at least not often. I know that being home all day with the kids or periodically around their schooling schedule still brings on plenty of exhaustion, stress both physical and mental. Neither role is superior, at the end of the day both roles play a vital role in the running of a successful household, and such as should be treated accordingly.
Imagine a world where you wake up around the same time every single day and typically its earlier than you would have to be up, earlier than anyone else in the house is up just so you can start your day with a few moments of quiet, a few moments to yourself before you begin doing everything for everyone else around you. Imagine a life where your days are long, chaotic, you’re being pulled in every possible direction with no regard for your own self. There isn’t a “break time” when you’re a stay-at-home parent. There isn’t a “lunch break” that’s designated every single day for you, like there is when you are working at a paying job. You eat when you can, it may or may not be hot, it may or may not be leftovers from whatever you made the kids, but I can assure you most of the time, there’s nothing luxurious about it. You’re often alone, with no one to talk to about life, adult things, no one to laugh with about things that aren’t regarding some weird kid joke that makes absolutely no sense to you. It feels like you’re constantly being used repeatedly. Then there’s the whole concept that there truly isn’t a “light at the end of the tunnel” feeling. There isn’t a part of the day that you know you can clock out and forget about the responsibilities you have as a mother, let alone a stay at home one. Your spouse gets to come home, eat a hot meal and sit down and relax, you don’t have that “luxury” as so many like to label it. You’re cleaning up after making that hot meal, you’re rounding up kids for baths and showers and gathering dirty clothes in exchange for clean pajamas. Those clothes must be washed, of course, so naturally you must go and get that laundry at least started or the piles will consume you. At some point, when all is said and done you, as the stay-at-home parent, must find the time to take care of yourself in some way, take your shower which is almost always last, get things ready for the next day and if you’re lucky you’ll snag an hour or two before you pass out to just breathe, without someone asking you for something.
I’m aware this all may sound like one big complaining warfare, and it may come across as someone who is just finding the negative in every situation, but that’s not the point of this. Yes, its hard and its exhausting, yes it really is all the things listed and stated above, but its also the most rewarding experience and life. I get to see my babies grow into little humans who then grow into older humans, I get to be there for all those moments and make those memories. That’s something to be desired, this I am aware and forever grateful for. However, it shouldn’t be tainted by the negative stigma placed on stay-at-home parents. I respect everyone who puts in the effort and time, whether they get a paycheck or not and shows up for their family and household. I think both roles have something to be desired, they both have their pros and cons. Both, however, should be held in the same regard as the other. It should never waiver. To be a successful stay at home parent, that is a must. To be a successful parent, regardless of which role you lead, its crucial. Society needs to do better at making that a reality, for everyone in every role.
